Senses Favorite Breakfast Revised

I took into consideration everyones comments on my poem during class and I revised it a great deal. Adding line breaks, more imagery, and an actual point to the poem at the end. I played around with phrase length as well. What used to be just two sentence stanzas throughout, is now a 3,4,3,2,3,4,3,2,3,2 pattern.

Senses Favorite Breakfast

Awoken by a warm, sweet, smell,

Body rises from warm comfortable bed.

Arms and legs make robotic moves, eyes barely open.

Body exits bedroom and follows the path

Sniffing nose leads.

Step after step, left and right feet follow

Each other.

Feet meet hard wood floor, and shuffle down the circular staircase.

Feet meet cold granite tiles, Numb.

Toes for just a few steps…

Until nose meets the kitchen.

Greeted by a warm, sweet, buttery mixture of aromas.

Stomach barks, tongue licks lips; top around to bottom,

Counter-clockwise. Arm reaches to open the fridge, grabs

Rectangular carton of Tropicana.

Synchronization: eyes aid arms and legs to fetch

Glass, fork, and plate.

Fork stabs the face of two fresh pancakes, and

drags them from hot buttery pan to cold ceramic plate.

Feet tour the kitchen once again to brain’s favorite seat.

First seat of the center island, most convenient for dining needs.

i.e. utensils, napkins, fridge.

Orange Juice pulp convenes in brain’s favorite glass, short and wide,

And sweet, old Aunt Jemima bends over onto Saturday morning pancakes.

Warm and fluffy, with a perfect circular crisp around the perimeter.

As pancakes take flight from plate to salivating mouth,

and all senses are on the brink of reaching harmony…

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! 9A.M. ALARM SOUNDS

College student awakens.